On Former Friendships

I think I’ve been blessed with friendships as an Air Force wife.  The blog title is actually named after a tradition a few close friends and I started of having coffee dates and eating homemade muffins and cake every Friday morning.  Those women have meant so much to me and they are truly good friends who I can be honest with about everything.  Hopefully I have been a good friend to them too, I have tried to be, being there for them during pregnancy and helping babysit and talking to them.

I’m a pretty introverted person sometimes and part of the reason I think I am so introverted is because I am sensitive.  But I’ve learned the worst thing to do is hide from relationships and friendships and life is better when you strive to care about people.

I made a good friend last summer through exercise, A.  She is in slamming good shape and kindly led workouts with a group of us.  She is very witty, deep and a talented writer and artist.  Her husband is a higher officer rank than my own and there is an age difference.  I’m a young-ish new girl to military wife and she’s a more seasoned participant of this lifestyle.

There were a few other ladies who worked out with us, two others whose husbands were captains (not 2nd LTs like my husband) and this didn’t phase me in the least, since obviously I am not in the military and neither are they. One woman was sweet, T, and she was cheerful as could be.

We were getting along great, having lunch, hanging out for Grey’s Anatomy nights, the whole shebang.  Then, I got a Facebook message from A saying that she and T had talked and decided that it could look bad for them to be very close to me, since their husbands were instructors at the squadron where my husband was a student. Basically, the argument was that people could accuse their husbands of favoritism if they knew we were close friends.

Ok, so needless to say this didn’t go over well with me.  I was very honest and perhaps a little blunt in saying that this was not even right, that this was very disappointing.  It crushed the friendship because I was expecting them to apologize for this, but what I got was an argument for why I should agree with them.

So, forward to a few months later, the one woman, A, is on a long-term trip in the mountains and T has been absent at workouts.  So, it has been the 4 of us working out.  I feel sort of bad because I feel like there is something I can do to fix the situation.  A defriended me the other day.  I never used to care about that stuff, but it felt like a snub.

Anyways, there is a lot of good in military life but there are also people who will dump you for frivolous reasons.  It hurts.


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